I love Comic Con. Just saw Thanos arguing with hotel front desk about not getting an ocean-view room. #ConanCon

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the great @BobNewhart for his new @Audible_com Original series, "Hi Bob!" https://t.co/66xgdBqCUd

In retrospect, we should've known Russian spies would infiltrate the @NRA... #MariaButina

.@FoxNews may be a tiny bit hypocritical when it comes to @RealDonaldTrump vs @BarackObama #Putin

Tonight: @AmandaSeyfried is here, @DaveedDiggs stops by, and a performance from @wizkhalifa ft. @goSwaeLee! #FallonTonight

Trump accidentally saying “would” instead of “wouldn’t” is impossible because there’s nothing he won’t slap a “T” on

Of course Obama gave a great speech. He’s married to Melania’s speechwriter.

What else is Trump going to flip on after his trip? “I said it was a great honor to meet Queen Elizabeth; what I meant to say is she’s a thirsty little diva.”

I just saw two Rocket Raccoon cosplayers fighting over a Princess Leia wig! Oh wait those are real raccoons fighting over a Cinnabon. #ConanCon

What do you get when you put me, @aaronpaul_8 and an RV together? Find out for yourself with a chance to cook (a meal) with us in the RV! Just a little something EXTRA special to celebrate 10 years of Breaking Bad. You want in? Enter NOW: https://t.co/ancXsOxs8j

One summer I hung up signs saying I’d mow lawns. I tried to quit when my allergies got bad, but my dad wouldn’t let me because “you made a commitment to the community.” #WorstSummerJob

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