Imagining what’s going through Shinzō Abe’s head while he’s fielding one-on-one questions from Trump about whether the sumo match is gonna have the most hamburgers in Japanese history or whatever

Where did Donald Trump grow up? Take the Donald J. Trump Tour of New York to find out:

The Dems want to talk infrastructure in the bedroom, but Trump isn’t over the fight they just had in the living room. #BetweenTheScenes

Every time Nancy Pelosi patronizes Trump, she seems more and more like a black auntie:

President Trump spars with Rep. Nancy Pelosi, @dulcesloan gives her take on whether Ben Carson will be fired from HUD, and @wyattcenac discusses "Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas.”

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Sorry, I've taken a few days break from the news: Are we having a war with Iran or not? And when will John Bolton tell Trump? I'm suspicious this is media driven, cuz nothing drives ratings like wars and royal babies and, well, we just had a royal baby.

And after crowd testing his new slogan KAG (Keep American Great), which the crowd enjoyed more than MAGA. He hurriedly closes his speech with the MAGA battle cry anyway. What total and complete mess @realDonaldTrump

Second person passes out at @realDonaldTrump rally. This doctor is really working his ass off. His rallies are really starting to feel like they are held on the lawn of a nursing home complex. He can't speak while there's a distraction, so has to pause. Trump hates the dead air.

Very Low Energy Trump Rally right now. @realDonaldTrump pauses while someone passes out in the audience. He's annoyed and impatiently saying "Take your time Doctor". Between this and the Alfred E. Newman tweet yesterday, He's losing his touch. Maybe this con is just too long

Good (MSNBC) Conservative Noah Rothman: Those who accuse the Trump administration of seeking a war with Iran are conspiracists with "an unwavering dedication to ignorance."

Administration Official: We're seeking a war with Iran.

Trump sold himself to this country as a business genius. Turns out he's a reverse billionaire. Elizabeth Warren should start calling him #Brokeahontas.

Who says Trump doesn’t stand up to dictators,we seized a N Korean ship carrying coal! They still have nukes, but we’re safe if they launch a train. (Also, I promise, no ASMR tonight...)

I see Nancy Pelosi (joining Michael Cohen a few months ago)is now on my page about the danger of Trump not leaving even if he loses. You’re welcome, America.

Democrats don’t seem to get it. ‘It’s in the rules,’ is not an argument that works on Donald Trump. You’re playing Monopoly with a Hyena. #MuellerReport #Putin

"On this wall is every single story that broke a scandal about the Trump Administration since Trump was sworn in. There are hundreds of headlines on this wall, and each one is an example of the invaluable work you do." #NotTheWHCD #SamanthaBee

Trump already has a nickname for @JoeBiden, #SleepyJoe. He's attacking him for being old and unfit? Donald Trump, a man who is built like a melting porta-potty.

Tonight! William Barr is the attorney general Trump always dreamed of. He’s got the loyalty of Rudy Giuliani, and the nothing else of Rudy Giuliani. #LSSC

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