waiting to see how serious this Ivanka email scandal is by the number of troops Trump sends to the Mexican border tomorrow

Trump: “global warming isn’t real. I’m starting a space army. The caravan is gonna kill you. Sweep the forest.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: “Puerto Rico was ceded to the US in 1897”

All conservatives: “haha you mean 1898 you stupid bitch 😂😂😆 omg”

@taber One time @PattonOswalt retweeted something snarky I said about Malaria Trump and I suddenly gained and then slowly lost a thousand followers who complained at every subsequent tweet, “I thought you were, like, gonna make jokes. What is this Star Trek/lonely gay shit?”

Hey Philadelphia! I’ll be performing Trump Dump: American Tantrum at the @HeliumComedy Club Tonight, 11/18 at 7:30pm and buy a signed copy of my book American Tantrum, before or after the show! Tickets here: https://t.co/QrfHEteeqz

Hey Philadelphia! I’ll be performing Trump Dump at the @HeliumComedy this Sunday 11/18 at 7:30pm get your tickets here: https://t.co/QrfHEteeqz

“What President Trump has put out into the world is a lot of hate, a lot of division and a lot of anxiety, and all of us is called to do something in this moment...we just have to decide what our something is.”

-@SenGillibrand on 2020: https://t.co/JQMQVlRmdl

Hey Philadelphia! I’ll be performing Trump Dump at the @HeliumComedy this Sunday 11/18 at 7:30pm get your tickets here: https://t.co/QrfHEteeqz

Every time I see Trump speak, I immediately think about @PresidentShow and wonder if Trump is now just doing an impression of @TonyAtamanuik doing an impression of him.

Trump is coming to California to check on the wildfire situation. He says he can relate because, last Tuesday, he also lost a House.

@HeerJeet "The creatures outside looked from Trump to @TonyAtamanuik, and from @TonyAtamanuik to Trump, and from Trump to @TonyAtamanuik again ..."

Sunday night @PresidentShow's @TonyAtamanuik brings the Trump Dump: American Tantrum Book Tour to Helium! Grab your tickets here: https://t.co/qkkxuYkRjZ

#AndTheClioGoesTo 23 Stories x @CondeNast for @TheDailyShow @ComedyCentral “THE DAILY SHOW PRESENTS THE DONALD J TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL TWITTER LIBRARY” in TV/Streaming: Out of Home. 🏆 #GrandClio #ClioEntertainment

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